Archive for the ‘News’ Category

Smile pretty. No? courtesy of TMZ

Smile pretty. No? courtesy of TMZ

War Machine (yes that’s his legal name)  already trashed his career. After making ridiculous comments about Evan Tanner’s death on his MySpace blog and refusing to fight Brandon Wolff (who Ben Saunders absolutely trounced), he was booted from the UFC. Then, surprisingly, he found work with Bellator Fighting Championships but the people just kept demanding more insightful posts! I mean with the election happening, who better to sort out this political shit storm than Mr. Machine. Long story short, he made some dumbass comments about President Obama (mainly that someone should “smoke” him) and then he was put out on his ass yet again. So what’s a War Machine to do? Hit up a gay club of course. War Machine decided to hit up a “straight friendly” gay club and ended up swinging at security after being escorted out for being a stupid person. Let’s go ahead and break everything down.

* Legally changed his name to War Machine so he could keep his nickname in the UFC. Was soon after fired.
* Made incredibly stupid assumptions about Evan Tanner, a man who left greater things than Koppenhaver floating in a toilet.
* Refused to fight Brandon Wolff because he thought he deserved higher profile fights.
* Suggested that Obama get shot.
* Fired from another, much lower profile fight promotion.
* On probation for assaulting a guy with a group of buddies.
* Arrested for swinging at security at a gay club.

God speed, Mr. Machine. Don’t make too many friends in the slammer.

He was probably a lot cooler when he was a tub.

He was probably a lot cooler when he was a tub.

Don’t fool around with a man’s sandwich.
Subway needs to understand this. Too many times have I gone to Subway and witness some bored teen carelessly throw together my meal. Sometimes it didn’t even end up as a sandwich. It was more like someone threw all the proper ingredients to my desired product into a plastic bag. I could have eaten it with a damned spoon. Well no more!
One man in America has had enough of this sandwich perversion. Reginald Peterson ordered a simple sandwich. Spicy Italian. Peterson’s jaw dropped and the piece of sauceless sandwich surely rolled out when he discovered there was no Italian sauce on his sandwich. No italian sauce on his spicy Italian sandwich. Outraged, Peterson called authorities not once but twice, to insure that he was given the sandwich he ordered. What does this American hero get for trying to ensure the quality on the food ordered at this establishment? He gets arrested.
That fatty, Jared is probably laughing his jowls off.

The Montauk Monster

Posted: August 4, 2008 in News
Tags: ,
Nicole Richie sunbathing.

Nicole Richie sunbathing.

Im going to call it right now.
This is a viral ad campaign.
Not exactly sure what it is for but I’m willing to bet that it will come to light soon enough.
You heard it here first!

If you haven’t heard about the “monster” check out this story courtesy of Fox News:,2933,395294,00.html

Bastard butt baby of Lemmy Kilmister and Nick Nolte

Keith Walendowski: Bastard butt baby of Lemmy Kilmister and Nick Nolte

The first shots in the war between man and machine have been fired as Keith Walendowski blasted his uncooperative lawn mower with his sawed off shotgun. With the advancement of robot technology spearheaded by the Japanese, I applaud this man for destroying this lawn mower that was obviously showing the first signs of becoming self aware. Unless we want to deal with a “Maximum Overdrive” situation we should all keep an eye out.
Walendowski told police:

I got pissed because my lawn mower wouldn’t start, so I got my shotgun and shot it.

To see how this whole situation pans out, be sure to see “Terminator Salvation” next year.